I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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