it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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