I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize