Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.

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  (585): it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident. http://tfl.nu/668s
  Replies (9) Good night (1041) Bad night (482)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.

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  (512): he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success. http://tfl.nu/9rt5
  Replies (11) Good night (6703) Bad night (657)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (904) Bad night (4717)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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  (513): i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot. http://tfl.nu/7qf7
  Replies (30) Good night (3772) Bad night (2842)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

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  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (25) Good night (2463) Bad night (4678)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head

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  (908): I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head http://tfl.nu/52vv
  Replies (12) Good night (4799) Bad night (1567)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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  (940): I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too. http://tfl.nu/vi8f
  Replies (41) Good night (1404) Bad night (7965)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

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  (330): we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it. http://tfl.nu/vxbj
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (1999)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids

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  (302): I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids http://tfl.nu/6v45
  Replies (15) Good night (1821) Bad night (1094)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.

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  (214): I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities. http://tfl.nu/q7gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1553) Bad night (739)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.

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  (916): Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap. http://tfl.nu/pbje
  Replies (9) Good night (460) Bad night (1645)
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  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (2131) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.

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  (417): New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel. http://tfl.nu/qpdx
  Replies (9) Good night (2288) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.

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  (415): I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing. http://tfl.nu/pa54
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.

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  (916): He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying. http://tfl.nu/67jj
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (255)

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