did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count