Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores