if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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