Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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