please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
