I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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