meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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