you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
