My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
