i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my liver is dry heaving
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
