it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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