My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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