just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
