They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
