Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
