I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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