Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
