That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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