so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
