Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's shark week go big or go home
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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