Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
