holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
