My nipple is on Facebook.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
