Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
