I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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