she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
