I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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