I just pynch a tree in the face
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
