Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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