so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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