the condom got lost in my hair
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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