i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
