In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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