I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
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He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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