I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
