I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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