i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dicks are not precious.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
