No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
