Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize