i think my mom watched the whole time
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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