Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
