I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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