she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize