I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
