Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
