I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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