a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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