To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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