to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
