Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
