do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
