She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
