His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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