My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
