.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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