No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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