You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
