dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
