U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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