We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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