There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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