Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
