And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
